Remember me?!

Well, I started this blog last fall. I quickly realized that starting right into C25K when I am very overweight was a bad idea. My joints couldn't handle it, and that just made me so frustrated. I gave up, and stopped blogging, stopped dieting, stopped working out. And I gained even more weight.
I now weigh 221.2 lbs and I am so over it! I'm so addicted to food it isn't even funny. I find myself eating when I'm not hungry because it tastes so good. I don't eat when I'm sad, I'm not an emotional eater. I'm an all the freaking time eater because I LOVE the taste of food.
The hubby and I are working on planning our 10th anniversary vacation in November. There is a good chance this vacation will involve physical activites like hiking, riding an ATV, or swimming. Yes, swimming. A bathing suit. Lovely. This is a vacation I've wanted for YEARS, and I'm not passing up on this opportunity. So, I'm taking this opportunity to CHANGE MY LIFE.
I thought about a gym membership. I love the idea of workout classes. But I also know myself, and I likely wont go and if I get there and its crowded I'll want to leave. So, I bought an elliptical! It should be here in a couple weeks. This is my #1 obsticle with the treadmill, the impact on my joints. The elliptical will avoid that, so I'm going to do at least 30 minutes a day...at least! I'm going to work myself up to an hour. For a month my sweet girl will be out of school, so I'll have to work around her being home, but I AM going to do this. I have to. I want to enjoy my vacation and pictures from that vacation as a short term goal.
Enjoying life with my husband and my daughter is my long term goal. I'm scared. Will I be able to stick with it? I know I'm capable, but will I do it long term? I'm a junk food junkie. I need to find healthy options, and make those my only options.
I joined My Fitness Pal this week (again). I'm actually keeping a food journal and staying within my calories for the day. I've stayed within my calories for 3 days! Small steps, right?

I know I can do this...I'm not dieting, I'm changing my life. I deserve this.